Angsty angst…

15 Oct

“There is nothing in the world, not even among the silent things such as dust and stones, that does not posses a certain life, spiritual nature, a particular planet and its perfect form in the heavens.” – Isaac Luria

I love this quote.  When I feel angsty or just not right, it gives me comfort to recognize the truth it contains.  I find myself going back to it when I feel out of line with work or people or family or the universe.  I’ll contemplate this before and after meditating on the Shema and it helps me to visualize the all encompassing implications of this prayer.  And I’ve been reciting it multiple times throughout the day lately.

The world is being bombarded with Scorpio right now.  Everyone I know is edge, nothing seems to be working right and everyone’s pointing fingers and being judgmental.  I understand this is all part of a process of growth: can’t fix problems that aren’t recognized, but DAMN…  When everything comes to a head at once it’s difficult to deal with.  Even those I know that are experts at staying cool, calm, and collected are noticeably less so.

It could also be that it’s just me: my vibe is being picked up by those I interact with and they’re just mirroring me… I’m getting what I’m giving.

Regardless, I’m doing my damnedest to remain even keeled and level headed, nonjudgmental and objective… and it is helping.  This morning was difficult: at every corner I wanted to snap at someone or reel at something, and I had to mentally tell myself not to.  After doing this a number of times, a wave of acceptance washed over me.  It made me think of Hashem hardening pharaoh’s heart, which only occurred after pharaoh had hardened his own heart multiple times prior to.  Once he’d formed the habit of saying “No,” he was predisposed to rejection and had no choice: G-d hardened his heart even when part of him wanted to oblige Moshe.  If we build walls continually, those walls will begin to stand on their own.  If we chip away at those walls, they will eventually fall under their own weight.  In other words, G-d takes care of those who take care of themselves.  So I will continue to bat at my ego, to force myself to be understanding when everything in me wants to be judgmental.  I will do my part and I thank Hashem for obliging me.

For more on the energy of Scorpio, click here.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: